1. I have been reading and reviewing a lot of Haiku on www.poets.com recently. These Haiku that I speak of, people have adjusted the title to “Modern Haiku” which they define as a Haiku that has no form and can be written about subjects other then nature.
Now here is my thoughts on that… A Haiku is a “formatted” form of poetry. When one takes away that form, what form is left that one may still call it a Haiku? You see, it is no longer a Haiku without its form. Hence, these so called “Modern Haiku” are nothing more then short free verse poetry.
2. I have been seeing an overuse in metaphors in haiku. No, there is no solid rule that says that a metaphor can not be used in a haiku like a simile, but I strongly feel that these Haiku that have a metaphor in all three lines of the Haiku really destroy the simplistic nature of a Haiku. So please try writing your Haiku with less metaphors.
3. I have also been seeing many people write in their Haiku the feeling that the reader should be feeling rather then creating the feeling without having to point it out to the reader. Here is an example which I helped a poet with titled “Freedom”:
This is the original:
Eagle soaring high
underneath the golden sun
symbol of freedom
This is my edited new version:
Eagle soaring high
underneath the golden sun
- wind beneath its wings
Now you see how the original Haiku pointed out this feeling of freedom in the last line, we as readers should be feeling. Now look at my edited version, now the reader can actually feel this feeling of freedom without having it spelled out to them. My second edited version of the authors original is a way I feel that many Haiku can be improved.
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Dan the Marine, what is your problem? Peace be with you.
travis morgan im sorry about the last few weeks i have not have any little boys and itys been drivingmy crazy. and i have been doing LOTS of cocaine and acid at the same time… not agood mixture….. it maked me really f-ing crazy. but im done doing drugs dfor a while cause i ran out of money…. maby i should go to reahb or somethin?what do u think? and i love your poems…
may safety and peace be with you travis morgan…..
my lover
hey i laft and got more acid!!! all i did was sell one our poems omfg i kant esee what im tyoping my visonf is all fuknn blulrrly! im so fkminnin happy noow right i love u bthearavis bree my freienind
p.s. send small childrenses so i ccanin tenintacule rape thmmim
send to 840 alexander dr. dixon CA, 95620
safety and peace, altair
Thanks for stopping by Dan. Keep youself out of trouble. Best wishes.
shalamaladingdong