For me, participating in a discussion, argument, or debate, isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about understanding and coming closer to truth, to reality. I love it when errs in an argument or statement I might make is pointed out and corrected. I take out the trash and I learn something new.

I make healthy efforts to justify and support an argument or statement initially and may very well try to convince the other party in the truth of those claims, but it is not with expectations of changing their minds, it is with expectations that they will either agree or disagree, and if they agree or confirm my sentiments, we carry on believing it is the case, if they don’t agree, I can only hope that they make a better case or argument in support of their stance. And If I find it valid and the errs in my argument are revealed I come out of the discussion with new knowledge, and a little less polluted then before I started the discussion.

So my focus isn’t on changing them, it is on changing and improving me, becoming more understanding and closer to reality. And I can only take out my garbage if I realize it is garbage, and sometimes this is done by exposing it to others, and they point out to me that it is indeed garbage. Also, the process we go through in a discussion is healthy in that we are exercising our brains and critical analysis skills.

In response that, I have been asked,

What if, rightly or wrongly, you came to be convinced that, not only is your position right and verifiably so, but the other person’s position is not only wrong but also damaging to you or to the world in general; would your focus then shift to changing them through the presentation of your argument?

If we are still in disagreement yet we both agree to continue discussing the topic further then I would be forced to change the presentation/approach of my argument and counter arguments. However, if they express that they are not interested in my position at all and only want to promote their view, I have no problem continuing to critique their comments and ask questions to gain a better understanding of their motivations and influences for holding the position they do. I often approach such discussions utilizing Socratic questioning. I have been using this method for many years and it continues to be reliable in stimulating awareness and bringing all parties to a better understanding of the discussed topics. Socratic questioning is part of the Socratic method which is quite effective in bringing out inconsistencies, contradictions, logical fallacies, etc… in an argument.