My Greatest Descent
I threw myself off a building, donating my body to the air.
My cloths ripped off and went twirling, as did my head, with a tear.
My limbs twisted round, bending backwards into flames
and oh it felt good, compared to life’s wicked games.
With a hollow “thump,” my body smashed into the cold cement,
lifeless and raw, undoubtedly - my greatest descent.
10. May 2007 um 00:45
I really love your poetry ” donating my body to the air” great line. Your artwork is inspiring. So nice to see some really honest creative.
I’ve just started a creative project called OneLove and i’m looking for submissons. If you’re interested you can go to http://www.oneloveproject.blogspot.com
17. May 2007 um 10:57
Hey Travis,
Great ending to this poem. It’s very short, and really gives the feeling of falling … well, as much as I can imagine it, never having leapt off a building myself. :) And I think the brevity of the poem is a wonderful symbol of the brevity of the fall, accelerating at 9.8 m/s^2.
It also conveys a very interesting viewpoint of the “faller” in that I would imagine most people falling would be scared of the impending death (in a sense, just as they were scared of their life beforehand). But you portray an interesting character who has the presence of mind to actually ENJOY his fall, naming it his “greatest descent.” Very nice piece.
-Mike
3. June 2007 um 10:49
how are you t.j.? been missing you a bit. i’ve been working on my own projects and working two jobs (the summer of a student) and so on and so forth and have, therefore, been away from my fellow poets and bloggers.
this is a lovely little poem… it’s a poem with staying power i think.
some poems are read and forgotten, one like this though, sticks to the inside walls of the mind for a long time.
and i gree with Fi about the line “donating my body to the air”… perfect choice or words and sounds.