Why “Hate” is a Bad Word
I teach my 3 sons not to use the word “hate.” The word itself is just that, a word. However, the meaning and power it carries by simply using it can be devastating. When one says, “I hate “this or that,” hate is not placed in that in which you hate, but rather in the haters heart, your heart. It is more damaging to the one that hates then to that in which is being hated. When you have hate in your heart, it can spread like a virus, and it becomes easier to hate, thus polluting your heart in this endless hatred, finally turning your heart black. Just by using the word “hate,” whether you mean it or not, it can spread, battle, and conflict with the love that is also in your heart. There is no good that comes directly from hate. By hating something, you allow that thing to further bother you even more then it already has. If you really “dislike” this thing so much, then let it go, if you don’t then you are allowing it to control you, thus increasing your hatred towards it. By just simply using the word this chain reaction can happen. The word “hate” should not be used lightly, preferably not at all.
How can one prevent oneself from hating? Where does hatred come from? There can be many reasons and ways for hatred to come about, but there is a simple answer. More or less, the source of hatred forms when our expectations are not met to our satisfaction. When one expects something, and it does not happen how we expected it to, we become disappointed. If we continue to have ideas on how things should be, and discriminate between things based off of our opinions, we are sure to eventually be let down. This can lead to hatred in that in which is not to our satisfaction. The answer, Do not expect. If you do not expect, you can not be disappointed. Remain neutral and remove your discrimination and prejudice which both can lead to hatred. Remember that discrimination can be as simple as valuing one thing over another. Remove that.
Don’t be afraid that by reaching this neutral state that life will be boring. It will not. Everything will be beautiful, and at the same time not, because the relativeness is gone. This is also the way to cease suffering.
The fact that I stated hate is a bad word implies a discrimination, an expectation, a prejudice is in effect. If I was in this state of neutrality myself, hate would neither be bad nor good. The two would be one. However, I used this headline to make a point. To bring forth awareness, like a slap to your head that wakes you up, just when you thought you were already awake.
2. February 2007 um 14:45
I actually discussed this today. I’d used the word in a sense of ‘don’t like’ and realized how it had been stripped of its meaning because of it.
My little run-in with semantics as a non-English speaker remained superficial though, you drive the point home rather well-worded, aimed at what I (limitedly) understand as Zen very much.
A person is the language he speaks, the words he uses more than they realize. Using hate so casually, would it imply that the concept is buried somewhere inside you? I hope not, but it’s worthwhile contemplating. As ever.
I wonder what that would mean for the word ‘love’. Do we love this or that too often and too much, thus equally hollowing out the meaning? Or is it a good thing, should we love everything we do, hear, see, etc. and thus really love and improve our world and the world around us?
2. February 2007 um 20:06
Nils, that’s right, everything should be used in moderation and only when the time is right and true. When hungry, eat your rice. When tired, rest. No more, no less.
An overuse of anything can and usually does have an overall negative outcome. I actually wrote a short poem on the over use of the word love before, it’s titled “Three Misused Words.” Check it out.
3. February 2007 um 12:51
One of the expectations we have of others is ‘trust’.
3. February 2007 um 14:30
I was thinking about the word “hate” the other day. I was in pottery class and we were talking about cooking and I said “I hate cooking,” but really I don’t hate it. I was being subjective and pulling from past thought when I had no concept of the idea that each moment is precious and cannot be wasted–where I always felt rushed; where I had no idea that whatever one is doing is exactly what one should be doing and should be done in a positive, alert manner. Hate only confuses and destructs the way things are. So, yes, I agree. Again an enjoyable blog!
3. February 2007 um 17:43
Glenn, I’m not sure what you are getting at?
Eve, Thank you for sharing your story. It compliments this nicely.
19. November 2007 um 10:48
Love and hate are opposite ends of the “care” scale, since you have to care enough to hate, the opposite of both is indifference. The innocent end (of that scale) is ignorance but forced indifference is denial. The frustration is connected to happiness denied. We learn contentment to balance those expectations used for motivation. Your understanding is projected in the enjoyment of so much creativity.
17. September 2008 um 01:26
Hate IS a pretty stong word. Many a times, used carelessly. I personally try avoiding the usage of this word. It could come out situationally but has the capacity to leave a lasting impression on the listener, one that may be unintended or not true at all.
Your post is definetly “Food for thought”. Thanks :)