You said you were going to try a little free-form and it works!
See how the words work so much better with the first version compared with the left aligned version. The visual is so appropriate to the context. Nice.
Travis, I like this piece. It truly does convey a freshness, a freedom. I especially think the free-form version conveys the idea of freedom while wearing flip-flops with the lines “Flip polF / free.” You don’t get the same effect in the left-aligned version, where the last line “flip flop free” almost implies being free OF flip-flops, rather than the freedom felt while wearing flip-flops.
That’s right Mike. It could be interpreted as “free of flip-flops” and that was a concern of mine, but as you were able to determine, it was intended to portray freedom felt while wearing flip-flops. Thank you for your insight and perception of this poem. Your observations were on the mark.
You said you were going to try a little free-form and it works!
See how the words work so much better with the first version compared with the left aligned version. The visual is so appropriate to the context. Nice.
Namaste.
This is great. I love “Reopen.” Very suggestive. Thanks
Ron: Yes, It now has a visual artistic appeal to it and reflects the flip flop freeness. :)
Julie: Namaste
Kevin: Thank you! I’m glad you noticed “reopen” because it was intended as you perceived it.
you go, Travis. I love the visual style. Adds up to the concept of this poem!
This deserves a standing ovation, Travis.
I love the mirror-like quality towards the end and the freeness of the body which flowed so smoothly.
Brilliant layout. ^_^ And the words — soothing, musical. (Thanks for dropping by my site a while back. Much appreciated.)
Cheers.
Bert: Thank you!
Cecilia: Thank you, It means a lot coming from you, as most of your poetry is written in this visually artistic form.
Soulless: Thanks for stopping by, I’m glad you enjoyed this poem.
“Flip flop” in this poem, was inspired from the thought of the carefree feeling people get when wearing flip flops!
Travis, I like this piece. It truly does convey a freshness, a freedom. I especially think the free-form version conveys the idea of freedom while wearing flip-flops with the lines “Flip polF / free.” You don’t get the same effect in the left-aligned version, where the last line “flip flop free” almost implies being free OF flip-flops, rather than the freedom felt while wearing flip-flops.
That’s right Mike. It could be interpreted as “free of flip-flops” and that was a concern of mine, but as you were able to determine, it was intended to portray freedom felt while wearing flip-flops. Thank you for your insight and perception of this poem. Your observations were on the mark.